There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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