I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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