Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
