if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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