And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
