I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
