She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize