I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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