porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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