hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
