Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
