He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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