She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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