I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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