This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
