There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
