I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
