ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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