Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
