i don't plan on having that self control this summer
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
