I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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