After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I woke up under a house in Key West
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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