i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
