if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
