Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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