So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
