I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
