Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
