I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
