do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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