do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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