This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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