If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
