You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
