You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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