kristin has been a bad kristin
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
