i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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