She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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