if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
