I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
