Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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