I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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