this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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