Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
