sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
