i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
