I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
