like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
