so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
