i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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