in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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