I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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