wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
