I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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