Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
