it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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