Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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