Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
